According to the following chart from Venganza, I am sad to say that we are seeing a steady decrease in the number of pirates in relation to the temperature. It seems these powerful pillars of society are unable to take the heat on the high seas, driving their numbers down.



Fighting global warming could change all that. Here are a few tips to increasing pirate populations in your area:

Speak with/write to the government to increase the awareness of global warming (a.k.a. pirate population reduction…or PPR).
Use fuel efficient vehicles.
Drive smart, drive less.
Buy energy efficient appliances.
Replace your light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs.
Weatherize your home or apartment.
Choose renewable energy.
Find gold and bury it all over the world.